What does the world look like to you? Be honest. How do things look through your eyes? How would you describe the world to someone who wants to know? Without trying to dress it up or make it sound how you want them to see it, what does the world really look like - to you?
They say the eyes are the window to the soul, but I think people people don't really understand what that means. It’s not about looking into someone’s eyes, it’s about seeing through their eyes.
When you tell me how you see the world, you're sharing with me what's in your heart. When you share your perspective, I can tell the kind of person you are. By seeing how you interact with other people and the world around you, I know all I need to know about you.
I know what you're grateful for and what pains you. I might learn what makes you happy or I might learn what pisses you off or frustrates you. Which do you choose to reveal at first? At what point do you reveal the rest, or do you?
By hearing how you see the world, listening to the tone of the conversations, I might know what makes you proud or I can sense the sadness or the anger. Let's call it the darkness. Your stories tell me who you are.
Any pain you feel is part of who you are, but it does not define who you are.
Now here’s the hard part: Do you OWN the pain? - That pain holds a lot of power! Look at how that pain affects your whole life! There's a lot of energy in talking about it, isn't there?
And right now, it's an energy that doesn't feel good.
That pain that you went through, don't let it be in vain!
I'm willing to bet that at some point in your life, someone took your power. There’s someone to blame, isn’t there?
Think about it, who holds your power? Did someone take your power or did you hand over your power at some point by giving up on something? Did you give up on yourself?
Whether it was someone you trusted or a complete stranger. Whether it was a regrettable decision YOU made or if it was something that was completely beyond your control. Maybe you were just a kid.
I'll bet there's a story that you don't like to share. Is there a topic you don't like to discuss?
In one moment, someone took away your power. They took away your right to own THAT moment of YOUR life.......and every moment since then that has been occupied by that memory.
Do they still own that moment? Who holds the power held in that moment? Do you still fall victim to whatever happened?
Have you told your story? Who have to shared that story with? You know which story. The one you just thought of a few seconds ago. The one that you shudder to think of.
I know……You don’t like talking about it. Of course not, it’s painful……for one reason or another. But THAT story holds power!
Look at all the energy it generates just to think of it right now.
Stop hiding from it! Stop living in fear or in pain because of it. That's YOUR story! That’s YOUR POWER!
This is your life, not theirs. They took something away from you in that moment. Don't let them hold onto it. The power in that story is YOURS to own! You lost your power long ago, now’s the time to take it back!
Right now, you're thinking one of only 2 things.
1) You're thinking, "I used to tell my sob stories. People told me to get over it. It just sounds like I'm feeling sorry for myself”
2) That's not the kind of story I would freely share. People would judge me. They might even fear me. I would lose trust and credibility if people knew about that. I would share all my stories, I'll share any story.......but that one is just too painful to share. I couldn’t live with myself if anyone found out. People would never trust me again if they knew
Well, you may have heard before......that the healing is in the story!
Today, I want to tell you WHY the healing is in the story. You may have also heard this one. Hurt people hurt people. My mission has to do with both ends or this and here’s why:
When we're hurt, we lash out. We cause damage we don't mean to cause. We do things that we later regret. We have a lot of pent up energy that we don’t know how to handle. The more life you’ve lived, the more energy, or power you hold. The longer you hold onto the hurt, the more hurt you cause.....yourself and people around you, even if that's the last thing you want to do.
I want you how to know how to harness that power. I want it to go from something that holds you back to the power that pushes you forward.
The first time you tell a story, it's ALWAYS from the place of a victim.
Start with talking to one person you trust. Work your way up to being able to talk freely about it. It's a slow process. Be kind to yourself.
Every time you share that story, you gain a new perspective. You gain the perspective of the person you're sharing it with. It's a bonding moment…..It’s a powerful moment. You get to own the power from telling your story AND you get to hear their perspective (find out what's in their heart). This is how you find your tribe.
You'll get to know their level of compassion. You might find out how they can relate to you. You might hear about how someone else got through similar experiences.
Remember, their perspective is based on THEIR experience. Their reaction has nothing to do with you. If they lack compassion, they're probably pretty buried in their own mess. Take what they say with a grain of salt and know that they’re not the one to talk to about this stuff.
HOWEVER, you might find out that you are not alone. You might learn how to feel supported.
Someone tried to take your power because they couldn't find their own.
They didn't know it. Hell, you didn't even know it until now, but they actually made you stronger. They actually gave you something to be grateful for.
Because of that experience, you learned something about yourself. You learned about life.
Whatever you took away from it is yours. If you took away a feeling of helplessness or being a victim, own that. All the shit you've dealt with since then, you survived it, you overcame it. You got through it and you're here.
If you’ve been afraid since then, now you know why. If you’ve been angry or isolated since then, now you know, it wasn’t your fault. THEY took that from you!
You made a mistake years ago and it still haunts you. You’ve put yourself in situations trying to make up for it since then………and you end up getting screwed!
That moment is part of YOUR story.
If it's part of someone else's too, they have their own version of the same story. Their story is theirs to tell. It has nothing to do with you. However they choose to tell the story is their choice……yes, even if they lie about it. If they’re lying about it, that’s all the more reason to share your side of the story. They have their version, you have yours. That moment existed for both of you, but you each experienced it in a way that only you can.
You got hurt or you made a mistake.
If you're going to let that one moment define who you are for the rest of your life, will it be as a victim or are as a survivor?